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求高人改托福独立作文,

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求高人改托福独立作文,
Do you agree or disagree,the best way for parents to teach children the responsibility is to let them have an animal.
When it comes to the topic that what is the best way for parents to teach children responsibility,opinions vary from person to person.Some people hold a view that taking care of an animal may be the best way to help children establish a sense of responsibility.From my point of view,however,I disagree with that opinion that each child should have an animal as no particular education method can be applied to every child,and I believe there are many other useful methods can teach children various virtues,including the responsibility.
I admit the fact that having an animal is probably a good way to teach child responsibility.In the process of taking care of a pet,children would learn how to show their love and patient; they would have chances to make food and feed their little pet,rather than only waiting mother to cook for them; they also have to learn how to manage their time and find balance between the study and their pets.All of these,obviously,are beneficial for children’s growth,especially helpful to learn to be a responsible person.
Nevertheless,there do not exist an education method that work for every child.Though,having an animal seems can benefits children a lot,we should realize that a family would have to cost considerable money if they want to adopt a pet,and on the other hand,children would spend lot of time on pet,which may do harm to their development of social skills.What’s more,many pets like dogs and cats contain several bacteria parasites.Children may face potential risks of getting infected if they play with pets every day.
In addition,to teach children responsibility,we should not only pay attention on the pets.Numerous other methods can be effective and helpful,too.For instance,participating in public activities is good for children as they have chance to touch with the society and make new friends.Manage money is another feasible way to teach children to be responsible because by learning how to spend and save money,they would gradually know the importance of responsibility.
From what I have discussed above,we can safely draw the conclusion- though having an animal may be helpful to children; it is not the best way to teach children to be responsible,when taking money,time and potential risks into consideration.Numerous other ways are also effective and parents should choose a appropriate methods based on their children’s condition.
求高人改托福独立作文,
建议你到新东方批改网上改改,都是外教改的
自己写了一篇自我感觉良好的,拿上来粗批一下改的满目疮痕啊.
还好帮我指出了问题!最好托福考的时候作文写得很爽