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帮我改一下这篇托福口语第一题的语法错误

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帮我改一下这篇托福口语第一题的语法错误
well,Zhenghua shopping center is my pavorite place.
first,my home is near this shopping center.i walk there just need 10 minutes.but if i go anther place to shop,i have to drive my car cause this place is far away from my home,with the bad trafficondition,it will takes me 1 hour to there.it's terrible!so shopping in the Zhuanghua will save me much time.
what's more,Zhuanghua shopping center is always discount.if i buy a t shirt in anther place,it may charge 100 dollars,but in Zhenghua,just 50 dollars i can take it home.you konw i am a student,i have no independent source of income,my bill gonna kill me if i shopping in anther place,but in zhanghua,i won't run out of my budget.
that's why i like this place to shop for clothes.
帮我改一下这篇托福口语第一题的语法错误
额……我口语23说点意见啊,虽然不高,但是我觉着托福口语只要有逻辑,发音清晰,就能拿到22左右的分数,对于中国人也凑合了吧
所以啊,你这个逻辑也有问题,虽然我觉着模版不是好东西,但是一点规矩都没有也不好啊
第一个没问题说Zhenghua shopping center is my pavorite place,这个简洁的回答了题目,不错
之后呢,我建议还是来一句总说啊,比如I always had a good time there之类的吧,这一句不说也可以
接下来一定说,I like that place for the following reasons.
然后再分说,一定有连接词,for one thing, at first, firstly, on one hand……,接下来一定说一下你的第一个原因是什么,要有一个总说,比如你的第一点就是doing shopping there will save me a lot of time. 然后解释啊,because zhuanghua shopping center is near my home, going there by feet takes me only 10 minutes. In contrast, another shopping mall is half an hour's drive away from my house.之后你那个what's more 也没有问题,挺好的.但还是要有总说, the goods there is cheaper than these in other places. 再解释,for example, a T-shirt there is 50 dollars instead of 100 dollars in other shopping malls.
最后那个总结可以,不过时间不够的话没有也可以
至于你说的语法错误啊,你看着我的自己改改吧.还有额,托福口语说小十句话就够了吧……时间不够啊,楼下那个太长了……
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