大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement.

大家帮忙看看这篇Personal Statement.
Personal Statement:
I’m a assiduous,accommodating and humorous girl.I love to study some subjects so as to gain new knowledge.My academic potential is above average level in my present school,and I always help my classmates to improve his studies.Helping each other is a part of my quotidian life,it always brings me much joy as well as some advantages.For example,I help a classmate on his physics,he will also help me on my maths(I’m poor at maths).It’s a reality epitome of “win—win”,it’s also my study method.
My goal is to be one of the most outstanding transperonal psychologists.I want to be a transperonal psychologist like Ken Wilber,Krishnamurti,etc.It’s a sacred job because they have been making people get out of negative,and gain self-confidence again.I believe this job is really suit me.I always keep confident,though I usually fail,it’s a valuable spirit to do this job.I’m not intelligent enough,so I must hardwoking enough so that I can realize my goal.Consequently,I choose to study aboard without the least hesitation,I think it’s a perfect stage to show my genius.I will take every opportunity and try my best.
Thanks a lot.
能否帮忙修改下,内容不需要改,就看是否有语法错误,或单词使用不恰当的,可以再换别的单词~
Thank a million!
也可以修改的再unique,或者语言老练些....因为是去申请国外高中的.....改的好的会有追加...
话说...show my genius可否改成reveal my genius？
呵呵.....是去申请北欧的IB高中....
因为申请的时候人家说写SHORT C.V...所以就搭上一篇SHORT P.S....
还有一个很好奇...为什么quotidian要改daily...不是一样么...

so as to ---in order to
his studies---their study
quotidian-daily
at maths--in maths
suit=---suit for
confident--confidence
hardwoking--work haed
申请吧 这样就没问题了
这样写已经很好了 不用太地道 太地道就不像你自己写的了
显得没诚意了就 我侄子申请过这个 我还是有点经验的
你是初中还是高中啊