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求修改,英文作文一片.小弟技艺不精,总觉得有所欠缺,求高手帮住,

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求修改,英文作文一片.小弟技艺不精,总觉得有所欠缺,求高手帮住,
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement People should sometimes do things that they do not enjoying doing.Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.
I really agree with the statement that sometimes people have to do something which they may be not like to do.Living in this world,in order to keep the society stable,we all have to be limited by the social rules.In another word,we need to do what we don't like since everyone takes certain responsibility either in detailed community or the whole.
Everybody is,of course,pleasant to live under a world without limitations as well as blocks while personal benefit always conflicts with holistic interest.It seems better that one should do something out of his or her willing to cater to the whole,like the nation or the company in which he or she is.As citizens,we are living happily in a peaceful,safe,and harmonious environment that is the crystal of the whole society’s effort.While we are enjoying the happiness,it seems a responsibilty for us to pay back to this social whole ,such as paying taxt to the pobulic and doing social benefit activities.This maybe unenjoyable for everybody to have a feeling of giving out,but this is necessery to be done in exchange for the benefits the others bring to us,no matter in the aspect of ethic or responsibility.
There is also a kind of situation we have to be against in our mind because some jobs are essential to be done for their beneficial effects in our future.This kind of events can be easily found in the school:teachers often give a lot of jobs for their students such like homeworks and arrangments in both curriculums and extracurriculums that students have to take.Knowing this kind of benefits,students have to finish the works from teachers though these jobs would occupy their free time mostly.
We really have to do a lot of jobs which are out of our willings.They may come from either the ethic and social responsibilities or the pocesses of getting benefits.We have to do so,though we want to do reluctantly.But just because of the balance between the freedom and the limitation,the world can be as colorful as the one we living in.
求修改,英文作文一片.小弟技艺不精,总觉得有所欠缺,求高手帮住,
说实话,通篇颠来倒去说的是同一件事,没有用到有力的证据.这样的文章最多只能拿个C-.所以我只能帮你稍微改改语法了.
I agree that sometimes people have to do something which they may not like to do.Living in this world,we have to obey the rules to keep the society stable.In the other words,we need to do things we don't like since everyone has certain responsibility in community.
Everybody is,of course,pleasant to live under a world without limitations because personal benefit always conflicts with holistic interest.It seems better that one should do something out of his or her willing to cater to the whole,such as the country where he or she lives.As being the citizens,we are happy to live in a peaceful,safe,and harmonious environment that built upon the whole society’s effort.While we are enjoying the life,it is a responsibility for us to pay back to the society.For example,paying taxes and doing community services.This may be hard for people to think of giving back,but it is necessary to be done in exchange for the benefits that community brings to us.
There is also the situation that some jobs have to be done even though it’s against our mind.This kind of scenarios can be easily found in the school:( teachers often give a lot of jobs for their students such like homeworks and arrangments in both curriculums and extracurriculums that students have to take.Knowing this kind of benefits,students have to finish the works from teachers though these jobs would occupy their free time mostly.) I don’t quite understand what u mean here.Seems not being related to the topic.
(We really have to do a lot of jobs which are out of our willings.They may come from either the ethic and social responsibilities or the pocesses of getting benefits.We have to do so,though we want to do reluctantly.But just because of the balance between the freedom and the limitation,the world can be as colorful as the one we living in.) In conclusion,blablabla…
再问: 可是这是托福作文啊。
再答: 你确定托福是这水平?……好吧……我没考过……真是……