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我需要一则或几则关于中外名人风趣幽默的故事,要英文的!

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我需要一则或几则关于中外名人风趣幽默的故事,要英文的!
我需要一则或几则关于中外名人风趣幽默的故事,要英文的!
1.One day,Mark Twain excluding travel.When Conductors check tickets,search every pocket he also found himself in the bag.Members of the train just know him,it will comfort Mark Twain said :"No problem,if you can not find a ticket.It also hurt."咳!How hurt,I need to find the coroner holding tickets Otherwise,I know how to where to go?"
2.Mark Twain once rode a train to a university lectures,because of time,he was very anxious,but the train is very slow.Then came a ticket,he asked :"Mr.President,you have the votes?"Mark Twain gave him a vote of children.Ticket inspectors carefully size up after he said :"I really interesting.I fail to see how you were still a child!"Mark Twain's answer :" Now I have a child,but I buy a ticket or when the child."
3.Mark Twain's like lying in bed,reading or writing.One morning,one journalist to interview him.Mark Twain told these individuals invited his wife to the bedroom.Mrs.opposition said :"Do you not be up?You lying in bed,and let others stand.That,like what?"Mark Twain think for a while,then said :" I did not think of that.Well,you better ask maids sell a bed!"
4.Fensiji Stravinsky (1882-1971) was a composer who was born in the United States,Russia,Americans have created a lot of life to familiar music.Once a film producer Fensiji Estrada invited bids for 4,000 yuan a Hollywood film scores.he has been rejected on the grounds that too little money.Producers argued that another composers in the same price for a movie spectrum songs.Composers shot,said :"I do not have his talent!Before,we must do it much more difficult."
5.One day,King George III,to go to eat lunch in a small inn that he did not eating,only eat two eggs cooked.Wait until he finished,the owner brought the invoice."What!"His astonishing,"Two eggs are actually two pounds!eggs must be very rare here."" No,Your Majesty."the owner said,"egg is not rare,but King rare."
6.Malcolm Sargent (1895-1967),American music conductor and organist hand.His younger audience for classical music in the eyes of a lot of efforts to try to revive.In his 70 birthday,one interviewer asked him :"Do you live to be 70 years old,can be attributed to what?"" Ah,"conductor thought for a little while and said," I think this must be attributed to the fact that I have not died."
7.To focus attention and feel the delicate music realm.Ms.contemporary renowned conductor and violin soloist and performed in command 09-16 Zhu has to close their eyes habits.These two talented musicians with a very understanding.Principal conductor and violinist,or even that people have almost nothing wrong in the hearts of the general induction.Speaking in the first performed in Lucerne,Switzerland.The performance has touched countless viewers.Later,when asked why Zhu 09-16 to close their eyes,he said :"We see each other better,and this is not a mistake.Music does not need eyes to the mutual visa.I can only keep an eye over the whole performance.Ms.command are closing their eyes when they see that,I hasten to also close their eyes for fear of undermining the entire atmosphere."