托福作文求批改 People today are more easily educated than before

托福作文求批改 People today are more easily educated than before
Education,arguably,is a essential element in people’s life,and a lifelong process as well.Many believe that,as time goes by,individuals are more easily to be educated.I agree with this opinion with following reasons.
First and foremost,schooling,which is the commonest way for most of people to be informed,have been developing well.On the one hand,teachers now is more professional than before.There are many universities and colleges established specially for training teachers,where students are import with professional pedagogical methodology,and become good teachers.There teaching technique can be trusted,and,Apparently,students’ schooling quality will be well garanteed.On the other hand,facilities such as libraries,computers and labortory are well optimized for students today.For instance,more gorgeous novels or up-to-date megazines can be readily found in libraries,and experimental equipment become more cutting-edge for students to enjoy the satisfaction of science.
Moreover,off-campus education is now becoming increasingly popular and advanced.With the develpoment of science and technology,more approaches to knowledge are now available.The internet is a wonderful example in case.Nowadays,people can easily connect to the internet and get almost everything they want,such as news from politics to entertainment,and internet-based encyclopedia.Also,numerous of useful information for study are accessible by searching engines like Google and Bing.Via these methods of acquiring informations,people can definitely keep pace with the fast-changing world.However,in the old days when there is no such thing as computer,people can hardly reach information as rapid as today,and the range is restricted by limited technology.
Besides,increasingly heavy pressures from compitition or job opportunities lift up the importance of education.It is widely known that,Inside campus,intense competition between students brings them physical and psychological strain,and this strain usually turns into a motivation of study.Also,when people graduate and find their niche in a corporation,there comes stress about job stability or promotion and so forth,from co-workers as well as bosses.Thus,extra education is needed for them to keep a competitive edge in their field.
In conclusion,schooling improvement,science and technology development and pressures from various avenues are all factors that contribute to a easier education.

[…] = 删除, xyz = 增加, （…….）=解释

Education, arguably, is [a] an （在a,e,i,o,u 和不发声h前用an, 除了母音像子音情况如 a university, a one-way street）essential element in people’s life [,] [and a lifelong process as well] as well as being a lifelong process. Many believe that, as time goes by, individuals [are more easily to] can be educated more easily. I agree with this opinion [with following reasons (你原本的写法也可以,但一般要用：) ] as explained below.

First and foremost, schooling, which is the commonest way for most [of] people to be informed, [have] has (主语是schooling, 单数以下类推) been developing well. On the one hand, teachers now [is] are more professional than before. There are many universities and colleges established specially for training teachers, where students are [import] imparted with professional pedagogical methodology, and become good teachers. [There] Their teaching technique can be trusted[,] and[,] [Apparently] apparently, students’ schooling quality will be well [garanteed] guaranteed. On the other hand, facilities such as libraries, computers and [laboratory] laboratories （前两词皆为众数,第三词也应是众数的）are well optimized for students today. For instance, more gorgeous novels or up-to-date [megazines] magazines can be readily found in libraries [,] and experimental equipment become more cutting-edge for students to enjoy the satisfaction of science.

Moreover, off-campus education is now becoming increasingly popular and advanced. With the [development] development of science and technology, more approaches to knowledge are now available. The internet is a wonderful example [in case]. Nowadays, people can easily connect to the internet and get almost everything they want, such as news from politics to entertainment, and internet-based encyclopedia. Also, [numerous] a diversity of useful information for study [are] is accessible [by] through search[ing] engines like Google and Bing. Via these methods of acquiring information[s], people can definitely keep pace with the fast-changing world. However, in the old days when there [is] was no such thing as computer, people [can] could hardly reach information as rapidly as today, and the range [is] was restricted by limited technology.

[Besides 这词没有问题,但是一般来说,阐述理由的手法是 1 Firstly, Secondly, Thirdly, Lastly 或 Firstly, Moreover, Furthermore and Finally; first and foremost is just a variation of firstly] Furthermore, increasingly heavy pressures from [competition] competition [or] for job opportunities lift up the importance of education. It is widely known that, [Inside] inside campus, intense competition between students brings them physical and psychological strain, and this strain usually turns into a motivation [of] for study. Also, when people graduate and find their niche in a corporation, there comes stress about job stability or promotion and so forth[,] - from co-workers as well as bosses. Thus, extra education is needed for them to keep a competitive edge in their field.


In conclusion, schooling improvement, science and technology development and pressures from various avenues are all factors that [contribute to a easier] make getting an education easier.

General Note: You are using commas too frequently. At the same time, you should watch out for tense and numbers compatibility. The flow is quite good but some improvement on phrasal expressions would be desirable.加油!

Clean Version is shown below:

Education, arguably, is an essential element in people’s life as well as being a lifelong process. Many believe that, as time goes by, individuals can be educated more easily. I agree with this opinion as explained below.

First and foremost, schooling, which is the commonest way for most people to be informed, has been developing well. On the one hand, teachers now are more professional than before. There are many universities and colleges established specially for training teachers, where students are imparted with professional pedagogical methodology, and become good teachers. Their teaching technique can be trusted and apparently, students’ schooling quality will be well guaranteed. On the other hand, facilities such as libraries, computers and laboratories are well optimized for students today. For instance, more gorgeous novels or up-to-date magazines can be readily found in libraries and experimental equipment become more cutting-edge for students to enjoy the satisfaction of science.

Moreover, off-campus education is now becoming increasingly popular and advanced. With the development of science and technology, more approaches to knowledge are now available. The internet is a wonderful example. Nowadays, people can easily connect to the internet and get almost everything they want, such as news from politics to entertainment, and internet-based encyclopedia. Also, a diversity of useful information for study is accessible through search engines like Google and Bing. Via these methods of acquiring information, people can definitely keep pace with the fast-changing world. However, in the old days when there was no such thing as computer, people could hardly reach information as rapidly as today, and the range was restricted by limited technology.

Furthermore, increasingly heavy pressures from competition for job opportunities lift up the importance of education. It is widely known that, inside campus, intense competition between students brings them physical and psychological strain, and this strain usually turns into a motivation for study. Also, when people graduate and find their niche in a corporation, there comes stress about job stability or promotion and so forth - from co-workers as well as bosses. Thus, extra education is needed for them to keep a competitive edge in their field.

In conclusion, schooling improvement, science and technology development and pressures from various avenues are all factors that make getting an education easier.