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雅思作文批改、并给一下分

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雅思作文批改、并给一下分
Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject.To what extent do you agree disagree?
There has much
discussion around the issue of whether universities should accept equal numbers
of male and female student in all subjects.I will analyses and compare the two
opinions in the following text.
Some people tend to think different subject
should be put into different genders.As far as I am concerned this view may be
based on the consideration that different subject has its own characteristic,
and men and women have different thinking method ,for instance ,man like to use
logical thinking method to solve problems,but woman like to use imagines
thinking method.Moreover,male and female have a different attitude towards
learning.Specifically,man can do something they interested in or curious about
very well,while women can do everything they should finish.
On the other side of the debate though,many
individuals argue that all subjects should be put into equal numbers of
genders.The main reason for this is that,numbers of male and female should be
equal in every subject.Apparently they want to emphasize that equality must be
reflected in everything,therefore,subject is not an exception.It is the
discrimination if differences exist in numbers of male and female when schools
choose the students.Apart from that,they convince that women can do as well
as men do and the other way round is also tenable,e.g.,history has
consistently shown that women can do as men,Hua mulan in China is a good
example to prove this view.Lastly,in the information era.Computerization and
digitization compensate the disadvantages between men and women.
On the basis of the above factors.I would
concede that gender equality should be considered in subjects.Despite that,we
cannot avoid the different
characteristics among subjects .Overall,I am convinced that school shouldrecognize the differences when choose the gender of students.
雅思作文批改、并给一下分
好吧,我想说,是不是通篇的脉路都已经偏轨了呢?作文要求应该是让你表明比较支持还是比较反对这个观点,然后阐述为什么.而你的作文大部分都用在社会现象的表述上,最后一段才草草表出你的观点.Well,这可是大忌哦亲~你应该用开篇就表明你的立场,然后分两段或三段,每段都分别例一个例说明社会是怎样反对的,紧接着你是怎样辩驳他们是错误的~每段都达到一个“他人观点为引子,我方观点为重点”的效果~我想这样才能拿高分的哦亲!
P.S.撇开题目但从文笔来说,你的底子还是蛮不错的,稍稍理清一下通篇脉路就OK了,相信你可以的!