帮忙修改英语作文请说明错误的原因.Unit 6Different people like different kinds

帮忙修改英语作文
请说明错误的原因.
Unit 6
Different people like different kinds of music.For example,my classmate Morry likes music that she can dance to,because she enjoys dancing.And Jane likes Jazz music,he thinks that it’s cool.Tom likes dance music,too,and he also likes Rock music,because they are interesting.But Linda disagree,she likes Country music,she says “Country music is really relaxing.” I agree with Linda,well,I also like Gentle music.What about you?Do you like Gentle music as me?
Unit 7
As we know,Beijing is the capital of China that is very busy.I want to visit next summer holiday.At that time,the 2008 Olympic Games will be held in Beijing.And I want to be a volunteer if I have a chance.And I want to visit the Great Wall.That must be very beautiful.Also,I’d like to somewhere fascinating.For example,the Tiantai or the Jingshan Park.And I want to shop.In a word,I think if I could go to Beijing,I would have a great time.
Unit 8
Being a Volunteer is Great
As we all know,the 2008 Olympic Games will be held in Beijing.So every Chinese want to do something for Olmpics.For example,being a volunteer ,a translator,a guide,and so on.As students,we can coach the kids like learning English,playing Ping-pong ball,singing English songs,reading English books and so on.Also we can do something for the disabled,for example,chatting with them,or taking a walk with them.May be that could cheer them up.If we can do anything for Olympics,we are giving our love to the would.At last,I want to say,the Green Olympics will come ture.
Unit 10
As we know,the ball-point is useful in our life.But do you know,the first ball-point pen was invented by an American tanner named John Loud.John invented it in 1888.And it help people write faster and it made life easier.But it also had many disadvantages,for example,it needed refilling and sometimes leaked.So people try their best to make it better.And you can see,the ball-point pen becomes smaller and lighter now.It’s used in many fields.And its price is very low.Thanks to the ball-point pen.It makes our life convenient.
改的好的给钱!

6. ...because it's interesting(音乐不可数）...but Linda disagrees（第三人称）...i also like light music（轻音乐）...
7.Beijing will be holding the 2008 Olympic Games（将来进行时.最好不要用：the 2008 Olympic Games will be being held in Beijing)... Also, I’d like to go somewhere(go somewhere) fascinating...
And I want to go shopping(go shopping)..I think if I can go to Beijing, I will have a great time(你完全可以去北京,没必要用虚拟语气）.
8. ...So every Chinese wants（ every要用单数）to do something for the Games...Maybe（不是May be） that could cheer them up
10.But do you know that（宾语从句） the first ball-point pen was invented by an American tanner named John Loud...And it helps write faster and it makes life easier. But it also has many disadvantages, for example, it needs refilling and sometimes leaks（最好用现在时）...the ball-point pen has become smaller and lighter now（最好用完成时）.
作为一个初中生,你的作文相当出色!厉害!